A lesson I learnt from my granddaughter

A couple of days ago, my friend had called me, and I had carefully scribbled down his phone number. Today, I wanted to call him back, but I couldn’t remember where I had jotted it down. I checked my telephone index, scrolled through my Gmail contacts, and even rummaged through the piles of envelopes cluttering my desk—nothing. Then, a sudden realization struck me: I had written the number on the newspaper I was reading that day. But when I searched for the paper, I discovered that my daughter had used it to bundle some garbage. Frustrated with my disorganization, I cursed myself for not keeping better track of things.

Just then, my phone rang. It was my granddaughter. "Grandpa," she said, "I forgot my notebook at home. Could you please go to my bookshelf and grab the fifth book from the left on the second row? It has a yellow cover with ‘Bioinformatics’ written on it. Can you send it with the driver to my lab?"

Following her instructions, I found the notebook exactly where she said it would be. Within a minute, it was on its way to her. Her calm, collected tone and the precision with which she gave me the directions struck me. Here she was, organized to the last detail, while I had just spent half an hour hunting for a number I couldn’t find.

This contrast set me thinking about the importance of being organized. Success, I realized, often comes to those who manage their lives efficiently. Being organized isn't just about tidiness—it's about having control over your time and space. It’s knowing where everything is, both physically and mentally, and being able to retrieve it without stress. Organization saves time, reduces unnecessary tension, and enhances productivity in any area we’re engaged in.

I marveled at my granddaughter’s confidence, how effortlessly she asked for her book. Meanwhile, I would’ve caused a minor upheaval in the household over a misplaced note, turning everyone else’s peace upside down.

The truth is, being organized doesn’t require extraordinary skills. It’s simply a matter of creating a system and sticking to it. When we streamline the way we manage our things—be it physical items or information—life becomes smoother. Our time management improves, missed appointments become a thing of the past, and those embarrassing moments of forgetfulness fade away.

A Carpenter's Gift

(I read this lovely story years back somewhere without the author’s name. I wish to share with you for the moral in it. How I wish we had such carpenters in the present day world ridden with suspicion, strife and hatred.) 

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labour and goods as needed without a hitch.

 Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

 One morning there was a knock on elder brother's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days’ work. Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?" he said.

 "Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the adjoining river and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll give him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

 About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all - and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hands outstretched. 

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done." 

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. 

"No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

 "I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."

Teaching a child

I chanced to see this lovely poem

by an unknown author and wish to share with you.

I hope you like it for its beauty and the message

How shall we teach

A child to reach

Beyond himself

And touch the stars

We who stooped so much?

How shall we tell

A child to dwell

With honour, live and die

For Truth

We who have lived a lie?

 How shall we say

To him' the way

Of life is through the gate

Of Love'

We, who have learned to hate?

How shall we dare

to teach him Prayer

and turn him toward the way

Of faith

We who no longer pray?

Inconvenient truths

I found this in My documents folder and do not remember when I wrote this,may be in 2009 or earlier

Sometimes we do not say what is in our mind for fear of hurting people. This silence can cause problems. Contrarily we tell immediately what is in our mind and this also can create misunderstandings. What do we do? There is no hard and fast rule. There is a time and place for everything. A wrong timing or place can do harm to relationship.

Sharmila did not mean to hurt Sanjay.Yet when he came from office and went straight to give her a bear hug, she said, “Sanjay, you smell a lot. Take a wash and change your dress before you come near me. Sorry, don’t take me amiss.”

It was a truthful statement as he was stinking after the long drive in the afternoon to the project site. The ‘sorry’ did little to assuage the hurt in Sanjay.He looked at her with anger in his eyes and moved away. Sharmila did not expect him to react this way to what she considered a reasonable comment. She was right but chose a wrong moment especially when he was wishing to express his love for her after a long day. She could have mentioned later when they watched TV after dinner.

When he came after the bath, he did not go near her but sat on the sofa to watch TV. She knew he was upset. When she took a cup of tea that he usually took, he declined saying he didn’t need it.

“Why are you angry? Even the kids have complained that you stink. You know I am your well wisher and if I don’t tell you, who will? Your friends, you must have noticed, are probably keeping away from you” said Sharmila. This made matters worse. The act of deriving support from the statements of children and an insinuation that friends are possibly keeping away infuriated him. He refused to believe what he considered a hearsay statement from the kids.

He blurted out in anger “I have not been telling you not wishing to hurt your felicity that every time I come near you, your mouth repels me. You don’t brush your teeth well. Often I feel like throwing up. Being considerate, I have been putting up with you. Don’t think you are a paragon of cleanliness and personal hygiene.”

What started an innocuous statement had graduated into full blown mutual possibly exaggerated accusations and resulted in both going to bed without their dinner.

There was no attempt on both sides to understand each other. The issues were never dealt with patiently at anytime but started as accusations. Instead of indulging in ridicule or sarcasm, there should have been a friendly chat when both were in happy mood and in receptive mood to other’s view points. It must be agreed by both that the arguments resulted from a real issue that had to be resolved. Putting up with sweat and smell, however close the couple might be, is certainly not conducive for bonding. The initial dislike may run the risk of spiraling into incompatibility. The entire unpleasant situation could have been avoided had care been taken about timing and also either of them ending the argument by some acceptance of some responsibility. Ego has no place in close relationships.

Some tactics may help.

See the purpose behind the accusation or argument. If the intention is honest and shows a genuine concern from the accuser, accept it with grace and address it in a comfortable manner.

Avoid ridicule, sarcasm, and offending tone. The purpose of the argument is lost if anger is provoked without eliciting a proper response to the message that is conveyed.

Never resort to making others agree that you were right and that the mistake lay with them. Just leave the message directly in pleasant tone which would be surely be taken note of.

May be if all these things fail, it may be necessary to show resentment and show anger to make others know that you are interested in them and care for them. But that should be the last resort. Expressing resentment is preferable than suffering in silence and allowing the chasm to grow wider. In some cases, anger may trigger affection and emotional closeness too.

The sweet aroma of faith

As I was browsing through the net, I came upon this nice post in www.ecclesia.org.The reading of the story reinforces the belief that total faith in the Supreme relieves one from the pressures of life’s problems

“You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother complaining about her hard life. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

Mother invited her into the kitchen. Here she filled three pots with water and placed each on a high burner. They chatted while she placed carrots, eggs and ground coffee beans, separately, in each of the three pans. In about twenty minutes she turned off the stove. The contents of each pan were placed, apart from one another, in two dishes and a cup

Now, she spoke, "You see Carrots, eggs, and coffee." The daughter was asked to feel the carrots - they were soft. With the shell removed, it was obvious the eggs had become hard. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter asked, "What's this all about?" Her mother explained that all three ingredients had faced boiling water, but each reacted differently. The hard carrot softened and became weak. The liquid egg contents had become hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were boiled they had changed the water.

"Which are you most like?" she asked her daughter. "When trouble knocks, how does it affect you? Are you like the carrot, the egg, or the coffee bean?" Think of this: The ground up coffee bean actually changed the hot water, the very circumstance that brings pain. When the water gets hot, the coffee releases the fragrance and flavor. Faith in God is like that.

If you are a faith-filled believer, when things are at their worst, you release the love of God that changes both yourself and the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, you let go and let God have his way. This is how a believer makes the difference in adversity. It's called the sweet aroma of faith”

The journey

As the end of life's journey is uncannily felt near,

The soft thuds of ‘Kala's’ footsteps I seem to hear.

Thoughts of my wasted life bring me little cheer

And the spectre of unknown dark ahead makes me fear.

While my life unwinds in my mind like a film surreal

As I espy my foolish chase  for things ephemeral

In pursuit of endless desires -sensual and material,

I feel like a wretch having gambled life for unreal.

Deep inside me, I have always had a nagging fear,

Having spent my life without much of His thought

 In acts, that would not have pleased His heart,

My final prayer made in dread,He may not hear.

Still, I strive to chant His thousand names

And utter some hymns that speak of His fame

But the thoughts of near and dear hinder me,

Even as  the failing memory makes a fool of me.

My tears are mistaken for my loathe to die

And not as the upshot of my deep remorse

For my failure to grasp the life's real purpose

And a life wasted approaching its inevitable close.

(kala means time or a form of Yama the god of death)

Break the Egg from inside

I received this wonderful message in whats app and wished to share with you

Break the Egg from Inside - Maulik Unadkat

One night Rabia, a noble Sufi saint, was desperately searching for something on the street outside her small hut. When Hasan, returned back from work, he saw this and curiously asked, “Rabia, my dear, what are you looking for, here on the street, at this hour?”

Rabia replied, “I lost my needle.”

Hasan joined her in the search, but after searching for a while, he asked, “Can you try and recollect where you might have dropped it?”

Rabia said, “Of course, I remember. I dropped it near the bed, in our hut.”

Hasan mocked her, “Are you insane? You lost it inside the house, then why are we looking for it outside?”

Rabia innocently replied, “There was no oil left in our lamp. It was pitch dark inside the house to search for it. Hence I thought of searching for it outside, since there was enough streetlight here.”

While holding his laugh, Hasan said, “You are really acting weird. If you lost your needle inside the house, how could you even expect to find it outside?”

Rabia simply smiled back at Hasan and Hasan got the beautiful moral behind her silly act. We are all seeking outside, what we have lost inside us. Why, just because it is pitch dark inside? Silly, aren’t we? Light the lamp inside you. Find your lost treasure.

As children, we were all so happy. Somewhere along the journey of life, we lost our happiness. Where did we start searching for it again? Outside! We do not need the latest Smartphone, a 7 digit salary, a beach house or a long vacation to be happy.  Happiness is an INSIDE job. Nothing in this world outside will make us happy, if we are unhappy from inside. Many a times, people who have much less than us are much happier than us. Happiness is self generated. You are not expected to be unrealistically happy when your life may be miserable. When life is harsh on you, stay at peace and wait for happy days peacefully. This too shall pass. When your peace of mind is lost, remember where to look for it, INSIDE.

We keep looking for God in the world outside, while He resides inside each one of us. God can never be found outside but that doesn’t mean temples are useless. Temples help us connect with the God inside us. God is lost somewhere inside us, in the darkness of our disbelief and our ignorance. Light the lamp and search, the postal address of God is INSIDE.

If an egg is broken by an outside force, a LIFE ENDS. If broken by an inside force, a LIFE BEGINS. You will find all the treasures of life, all the secrets of life inside you. Stop looking outside. Break the egg from inside, let LIFE BEGIN.

Add glamour to life by calculated risks

In our lives we are often confronted with situations where the future outcome is not clear. We tend to weigh the pros and cons but still remain undecided, or opt for a safe path that is always less attractive. Nevertheless in day to day life, we are to take risks constantly, we cross the road hoping that vehicle users would follow the rule of road, we take our food in restaurants hoping the food is made hygienically, take our medicines trusting they are not fake duplicates and submit ourselves to treatment believing the doctors know their job well. Even marrying a person is a risky gamble until everything turns out to be fine. In business risks are taken day in and day out based on reasonable conjectures of the market, supplies and margin. One cannot play safe waiting for the waves to subside to take a sea bath. It never happens. Risk free road where no vehicles ply is the busiest boulevard but no successful men are found there.

We must remember that all risks are not the same. There are some risks that are just dumb, foolish and chancy like buying a lottery ticket, placing a bet on a horse over which you have no control or playing roulette in a casino to win a jackpot. But many are reasonable risks which one has to take perforce, intelligent risks, where the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. In the evaluation where all factors have been taken into account, it would be foolish to let go an idea where the positive outcome is more than negative fallout. If the damage by failure is minimal or manageable, the risk should be taken and an opportunity to make good should not be lost by excessive caution. "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” -John A Shedd

Take the simple example of a young lover wanting to propose to his girl friend but afraid of possible .rejection. If he fails to take the risk of proposing to her and face whatever her response is, he would surely miss the girl forever. While we should give a wide berth to reckless dumb risks, we should not fail to avail intelligent risks. Otherwise our lives would be ordinary with no glamour or success.Every decision has an element of risk.No risk means no success.

There are a couple of things,however to bear in mind like taking a long term view of the decision and the likely positive outcomes and not being guided by a few cases of failure we often hear about. Success may not be immediate but one should work putting in maximum efforts and hoping the intelligent risk taken will pay out well at the end. Success is not for cowards. Those who refuse to lean towards risks by bending with each storm of life may never get hurt but their character to be daring would be irreparably hurt.

There is a proverb ‘Everybody pushes a falling fence’. You can never command respect. We can easily distinguish the leader among men just by looking at a pack of animals cowering under danger. Suddenly one animal steps forward and moves towards the danger. This halts the other terrified many. So is the case among men too. The leader takes an intelligent risk and assumes charge of the situation. This ability to take risk distinguishes the grain from the chaff

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The 10th Apple Effect!

(I received this write up and wish to share with you as I found it inspiring.The source is unknown)

A hunter once lost his way deep inside the jungle while chasing a deer. He used all his navigation skills but neither did he find any way out of the jungle nor could he find any food to eat for 8 days at a stretch. He started feeling so damn hungry that he could eat an entire elephant at one go. Disappointed, he lost all hope. And that is exactly when an apple tree caught his sight. He collected a dozen apples to feed him for the rest of his search.

As he ate the 1st apple, his joy knew no bounds and he just couldn't stop feeling grateful and blessed. He thanked life. He thanked God. He could not believe his luck when he ate the 1st apple but he was less grateful while having the 2nd apple and even lesser grateful when he had the 5th apple. Somehow, with each passing apple, the hunger still kept on increasing and the joy kept on reducing drastically. He just could not enjoy the 10th apple. Why? He had already taken for granted the gift of having found an apple tree in the middle of a forest after 8 long days of wandering with hunger. When he took the 10th apple in his hand, he was still very hungry but he just did not feel like having it any more. Economics calls this diminishing marginal utility. I would like to call it diminishing gratitude, in simple words, taking things for granted. Or let’s just call it the 10th apple effect.

The 10th apple did not lack taste, it did not lack the potential to satisfy his hunger but the only thing lacking was his gratitude for finding food in the middle of the jungle.

The hunter represents us. And the apple represents the gifts that life gives us. The 10th apple represents our lack of gratitude for these gifts of life and our ‘take everything for granted’ attitude. As we continue receiving the gifts of life, our hunger, our greed keeps on increasing and the joy we get from these gifts diminishes.

Imagine the joy you get when you deliver a baby and hold your baby in your hands for the first time. The gratitude you have in that moment, for life and for God is unmatched. But what happens as time passes? Do you get the same joy when you look at your child every single day? Do you still find enough happy time to spend with your kids? Never let the 10th apple effect make you feel less grateful for the gift of a child.

The 10th apple is as sweet as the first apple. If the 10th apple fails to give you as much pleasure as the first one, nothing is wrong with the apple, everything is wrong with you. If you get bored on a dull day, it is not because the day is dull and boring. It is because your gratitude has become dull and boring. The gift of life for another day cannot be taken for granted. The Nth year of life should seem as exciting as the 16th year, as the 25th year, as the 50th year.

Never let the ‘10th apple effect’ make you take these gifts of life for granted. Never let your gratitude for life fade away. Happy life! 

Some thoughts on parenting

Not sure if this is actually in the Thirukkural or somebody's interpretation but seems pretty good.

Thirukkural  by Thiruvalluvar ( a  celebrated Tamil  poet/writer) was written more than 5000 yrs ago. It's one of the  ancient science on Human behaviour , which has not   changed in-spite of modern education  & technology !  .

SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you've lost them.

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don't let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people's feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don't successfully complete it.

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defied, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don't follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don't trust that you won't blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn't listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions.

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

The impostor

(

I am an impostor

A pretender

Calling myself

Everything

The body,

The mind,

And the soul

Where as you

The real ‘I’ is hidden

Inside me,

A silent spectator,

And a mute witness

To my foolishness.

Masquerading in arrogance

In my temporary unreal garb

I grope in the darkness of my mind

As the true self

Wasting my precious human life

At the altar of desires

Making no attempt to know you

Though you reside in me

Till my last breath

I die

When the shell dies

You the real ‘I’

Is undying

Carrying with you my baggage

Of many sins and a few good

To find a new shell, a new form

Determined for me by my baggage.

On my unending

Journeys of births and deaths

We are as happy as we wish to be

I do not know how many of us know the name of our postman who comes to deliver our letters almost daily? No, we hardly talk to him even when he delivers us a registered letter or a parcel. We silently receive the mail and sign in acknowledgement in the form he produces. Our encounter or should I say non-encounter with him is over in a minute or two. He invariably comes on his cycle when the sun is over the head and  is hot. He would visit any number of homes and would not have remembered a single exchange of words worth remembering at the end of the day.

My first encounter with my postman started with a tiff. It was very hot that day and after a heavy lunch, I had dozed off. My wife was away. The postman had rung the bell twice or thrice. I opened the door with a frown on my face at the disturbance. He had a registered parcel for my wife and asked for her.

 I told him in abrasive tone”she has gone out. You may deliver it to me.”

 Possibly upset with my harsh tone he replied “I would need an authorization letter as per rules.”

“You are very punctilious especially when you know the addressee is my wife” I remonstrated with him.

 He politely replied” I was only doing my duty. Since I know both of you, I would have readily  delivered it to you had you been a little gentle”

It was only then that I noticed he was perspiring heavily standing in the hot sun with a big bundle. I requested him to come in and asked him to sit under the fan. He was hesitant initially but sat down when pressed. I gave him a glass of cold butter milk. I ascertained his name was Radhakrishnan and that he has been on this beat for the last twenty years. He had two sons and one girl and all of them studying.

He was touched by my kind enquiries and said “This was the first time anyone ever invited me into the drawing room and offered me a glass of cold water let alone buttermilk.”

“Do you like this arduous work of going out daily in hot sun or in rains on rainy days?”

 “I have no choice as I need to earn and so I decided to like it. Sorting of the letters was easy once one gets experienced. I have the opportunity to meet all sorts of people though the hazard of unchained dogs and tiresome climbing of the stairs of multi storied apartments poses  me a problem.You see I am getting older”he said with a smile.”

“I understand fully” I said in empathy

“It is not without its joy. I enjoy helping the illiterate with the occasional reading out the post cards. Though there are a few insensitive people making me wait at their doors taking their own time to chain the dogs or open the doors, most of the people are good and happy to see me at their doors.. I have no reason to be unhappy though walking through slushy roads during rainy days is difficult.”

Six months later, I had to get an affidavit urgently from a notary public. I didn’t know of anyone in the locality. The neighbours also could not help. It was then I saw Radhakrishnan in my colony on his beat. When I mentioned about this, he reeled out half a dozen names within a kilometer of my house. It was then I found that he knew well the people who lived in his area and enjoyed being helpful whenever approached.

 It was then the thought occurred to me that how many of us who work in the cool comfort of air-conditioned offices with transport or pick up facility  and yet keep griping about the well paid work little realizing there are people who enjoy their work even in unfavourable circumstances.

I was surprised at Radhakrishnan’s positive attitude and remarked “I am surprised how you like your work which to me does not appear comfortable.”

He laughed and said “Unlike you big officers, I am not chained to a table or a cabin all through the day. I am mostly in the open breathing fresh air and meeting a cross section of people. Most of them cheer up and smile when they see me bringing  a letter or a money order.. At the end of the day I do not have to carry the worries of the office to my home. I have many friends and interests. Life is not about earning money alone. I am quite happy,Sir.”

I realized that the postman had developed a robust and positive outlook towards life. He liked his job, worked efficiently, helped illiterate people, made friends and was cheerful. How many of us could boast of such a privilege? We are as happy as we wish to be.

Fostering moral courage

Decades back when I was a young boy studying in class 6, there was a heavily built bully in the class. Being the son of the class teacher he ran amuck doing things that pleased him with none bold enough to question him or complain against him. He stole lunch boxes and took away from  school bags of others whatever he desired. He beat the weak boys and frequently pushed a polio affected boy without any provocation. The poor teacher was not aware of the misdeeds of this bully as none informed him.

 It was a hot summer. There was a big earthen pot kept in the corner of the class room. The water boy filled the pot with water each morning before the classes commenced. There was a brass tumbler kept by the side of the pot. The boys slaked their thirst in between the two classes. It so happened one day the bully commanded one boy to fetch him the water in the tumbler. The boy strangely ignored him and after drinking the water returned to his seat.

 The bully roared” how dare you disobey me? If you do not get me water within the next minute, I will make you pay for it.”

 The boy did not budge. All the other boys watched anxiously suppressing their glee at his defiance. The bully got up in anger and thrashed the boy. He took the black board wiper and hit the pot breaking it into pieces with all the water spilling out. It was a little later the class teacher entered and saw the damage. He took the cane in his hand and asked generally who broke the pot. There was a deafening silence.

The bully stood up and said pointing out the boy who refused to give him the water”Sir,he broke  the pot in anger as others were drinking water and he did not get the tumbler when he wanted.”

The good teacher unusually lost his temper  and beat the boy once when there was a sudden shriek “Stop it, Sir”.

 Everyone turned towards the direction of the voice. It was the polio affected boy who stood up.and said “Sir, the pot was broken by your son in anger as that boy refused to bring him water when commanded by your son. He thrashed the boy mercilessly and pushed him down. He is tormenting us daily in several ways.”

The teacher looked at the class and asked the boys “Is it true? You do not have to fear him or me. Please raise your hands if what the boy said is true.”

All the boys,except the bully and a couple of his buddies raised their hands,, and shouted”Yes, sir” in chorus

The teacher full of remorse for his rash behavior rubbed softly the arm of the boy and said “I was rash and should have asked others. I am sorry. Please go to your seat and sit down.”

He called the polio affected boy to his side and affectionately put his arm around him and said “I really appreciate your boldly speaking out the truth. I do not know why all the others did not have the courage you showed.. I am thankful to you and proud of you as my student.

 He called his son near him and caned him thrice telling that he was ashamed of his despicable behavior.

The point of this story is that most of us lack the moral courage to stand up against injustice wherever we see. While the soldiers who fight the war, the firemen who fight the raging fires and the policemen controlling a violent mob are all courageous in the course of their duty, ordinary people remain mute witnesses to the atrocities out of fear. The daring few whistle blowers pay a heavy price for their courage in this unethical system.

 While individually we cannot fight the corrupt politicians, the greedy mafia, the defrauding traders, we should collectively raise our voice of protest at the appropriate times. I have read that ‘moral courage is not just an intellectual exercise. Having the strength to do what is right when faced with difficult decisions is the key to being an ethical leader.”

If the ration shop or a petrol bunk deals with adulterated goods, we must have the courage to appeal to the consumer protection organization. If the auto driver fleeces you, you must stand up for your right and take a public bus than succumb to his unreasonable demand. It is difficult and inconvenient no doubt but we must at some stage learn lessons from great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi or a Nelson Mandela. The latter had said that "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

We should teach our children by personal example in the ordinary daily transactions about the values of integrity and moral character. Even in the sphere of games, how many players have the willingness to walk without waiting for the umpire’s ruling when they know they are out? We must develop the strength to stand up for what we believe. Our actions should be based on our ethical values and willingness to undergo hardships and even face some risks. We should not be willing accessories to manipulative bosses in office, cunning politicians during elections and corrupt bureaucrats in our dealings.

 It is high time that schools set apart an hour for moral instruction to children even from the small classes to build a nation of high moral fibre.

Conquer fear

I have heard a story about Napoleon. When he was a young boy studying in school, one of his classmates complained to teacher accusing Napoleon of having stolen some article of his. The teacher without asking for explanation started beating Napoleon mercilessly. The boy kept quiet and left when the teacher finally stopped hitting. On the second day the boy who had accused told the teacher that it was not Napoleon but someone else who had actually stolen. Struck with remorse the teacher asked Napoleon why he did not protest his innocence but kept quiet when he was beaten.

“I would have told you had you asked me the question before you started beating. To say that I am innocent in the midst of beating would show that I am afraid of the beating and hence lying. I have no fear of beating or anything. That is why I kept quiet”

It was this fearlessness that took Napoleon to great heights.

Fear is one of the major reasons that weaken our endeavour to overcome challenges. Fear is often irrational and mostly a function of the mind. If I confront a snake on my way, the fear is open and either I run away or get it killed. I can secure my home better if there is a genuine fear of being burgled. I can tackle the fear of examination by preparing thoroughly. Open fears are easily overcome by precautions.

It is the hidden fear in the subconscious of the mind that is difficult to conquer. When I was addressing employees of a company, I asked how many of them can walk on a long 20” concrete square beam kept on the ground. Everyone said they can easily do it and some said they can run too. When I asked them how many can walk if the beam was raised to 100 feet high, none replied. When I prodded for answer, a few said they were afraid of falling. I said it is the same beam on which they could walk and a few could even run but the only change is the location. It is the fear of failure that has impeded them from saying yes. It is the same fear of failure that deters us from taking many steps to grow in life. We drag our feet afraid to take even small risks

Some steps to conquer fear could be as below.

Confront the fear by walking into it. If the fear is irrational and is not open, challenge it. You are afraid of being in the dark or being alone in a house, get into dark or stay alone. You may be afraid initially looking for ghosts or intruders where there are none and after a few times, the fear would vanish. One caveat however, it should not be foolhardy like crossing Niagara

Fear of failure. No man is always successful. Everyone fails. Most reputed batsmen do not score centuries or fifties often and do so only 25% of times. If they do not play for fear of failure they would have never become great. Astronauts go to unknown and untrodden places with tremendous risk but of course after training. Many of the achievements would not have been possible but for their conquering fear.

Be fully prepared.When you undertake a job, be it writing an examination, or starting a business or joining a tournament prepare thoroughly. Get all the facts that you need to know and the practice needed. There is no shortcut to success than hard preparation. Learn the ropes or tricks of trade.

Keep in mind law of averages. I am afraid of sleeping directly under the ceiling fan and would position myself slightly away. My daughter smiled at my fear and asked me that in the several decades of my life how many people have met fatal end by fan falling. I was not aware of even a single case. When one can drive a car despite several accidents happening all around, why not sleep under the fan was her question. The fear vanished.

Try repeatedly. Remember Robert Bruce or Edison or Abraham Lincoln. One or two failures should not deter you rather they should goad you to do better.

Have faith in God. Whether you believe or not in law of karma or the power in your stars, have touching  faith in Providence, whatever your religion may be. This faith will greatly facilitate the conquest of fear. You will never  feel alone in your endeavour.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Life is a long lesson in humility

 Humility is a hall mark of great men. It is only the upstarts that suffer from ego and an inflated opinion of themselves. The greater the position one climbs, humbler one generally becomes. The really great men rarely need the crutches of instant recognition and adulation. Pride is what most men display unwilling to accept what they really are and suffering from illusions of what they really are not. I read that if men were clothed in humility, most would be scantily clad.

 Very few realize that we are in this world for a short period doing what is ordained and instead of taking pleasure in what we do, we attach importance to who did the work. We expect everyone to praise us and our work failing which we nurse bitterness. There is a craving for adulation and recognition in whatever we do. All the anger and frustration would not arise if we are not victims of self pity or self importance.

I have read that the great physicist and mathematician Einstein was embarrassed by the attention and admiration received by him very deservedly at that. He was humility personified when he wrote “There are plenty of the well-endowed, thank God. It strikes me as unfair, and even in bad taste, to select a few of them for boundless admiration, attributing superhuman powers of mind and character to them. This has been my fate, and the contrast between the popular estimate of my powers and achievements and the reality is simply grotesque.” 

Contrast this with our own tin-pot politicians and bureaucrats who believe genuinely that all the good that is happening in our country is because of them and keep harping on it.. There is really no  need to prove ourselves to others. Bragging with pride only diminishes the positive feelings others may have for us. Our work or accomplishments would speak for themselves better.

How many of us respond patiently to ordinary men and women either on the roads or offices when they ask us some questions? We are always in tearing hurry. Humility is genuine concern for others, big or small. Humility means being a better listener, being more patient with others, being helpful to utter strangers and letting others have their glory. Humility is in doing great and small acts of kindness without letting others know. Humility is in making peace with other’s imperfections and being more tolerant.

Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows

All the faces in the world are mirrors

A good story I read

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors.

A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house.

He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door.

When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

God the spider

A nice story I read 

"DESPITE ANY LIFE OBSTACLE, EVEN THE DIREST OF CIRCUMSTANCE YOU ARE IN, YOUR FAITH IN GOD WILL CERTAINLY ENABLE YOU OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE."

 God can even use a simple spider web to build a wall of protection around His children.

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific Island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.

Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.

As he waited, he prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen."

After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, "Well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one.." Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.

As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave.

"Ha, he thought. "What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor."

As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on. Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while. "Lord, forgive me," prayed the young man. "I had forgotten that in you a spider's web is stronger than a brick wall."

We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to forget the victories that God would work in our lives, sometimes in the most surprising ways.