Thursday, April 28, 2011

Learn to cultivate your own garden

There is a common failing in most of us trying to influence others to believe in what we believe and in making them do things the way we do. We do this more often unsolicited though with genuine intention that others should profit by our experience or knowledge. We wish them to walk on our treaded path and always remain in the comfort zone. While we do this we do not entertain the slightest doubt that we are encroaching upon others domain

The other day when I was at my friend’s place I saw his grandson, a school topper, wanting to do a course in economics and pursue further in a prestigious school of economics eventually for a doctorate. An uncle of the boy was chastising him for not opting for an engineering degree in ECE and an MBA thereafter as most do for absorption in a big IT company or MNC.The boy was adamant saying he had no aptitude for those lines. The uncle never realized that he was imposing his views on what he thought was right on the young boy. The usual mistake of imposing parental ambitions on the young children would only crush their dreams as seen in the film 3 idiots

If my granddaughter liked to order pasta or veggie burger why should I insist her on eating onion rava dosa that I prefer? When my niece’s son wanted to learn saxophone, she felt learning violin was a better choice. The boy learnt neither unwilling to learn violin and forgoing saxophone to respect his mom’s wishes. We forget one man’s meat is another man’s poison and that there cannot be a dull uniformity. If I want to invest in stocks and shares instead of investing in Post Office deposits that is my choice and my friend need not discourage me detailing tales of investors who lost their money on stock market. The beaten tracks, that people who play safe take, may be crowded but it is the lonely boulevard chosen by a few that dared to dream can produce Warren Buffets, Dhirubai Ambanis or their ilk

If we carefully start watching our conversations with others we can catch ourselves telling others how they should do things or be living. The temptation to offer our views unasked is overwhelming. Let us curb this desire and be content to grow our own garden. Whether the neighbor plants bougainvilleas or just plain cabbages is his wish and should not concern us.


  1. Your post made me are right, but sometimes we do it for the good, but agree that we shouldnt do it to everybody.

  2. People should be left to live their own lives. No matter how well meaning our intentions may be, even if they are family, it is still better to respect the individual's right to be himself.

    A very good piece and reminder.

  3. I agree with this point. I don't know why people like to break their heads and impose their will on others by hook or crook. Okay sometimes we feel a person is not looking at all aspects of a situation, and we try to highlight that to them, but I always leave it , because although I know that person is not looking at it from larger view point, my breaking my head with that person will not make matters any better.
    I especially hate it when parents try to impose their will on their children, controlling their natural tendency towards certain things.
    It leaves a very deep scar in the children, which they will in turn manifest in some other negative way.

  4. True sir .Things should not be imposed on anyone or people should not interfere in anybody's life.Especially if a person is negative minded or pessimist ,then another person's interference could ruin his self made decisions.But if a person demands your help or suggestion ,then we could definetely try helping them ,that's when you do it for their good and that's what renu said I suppose.

  5. Hi...this is one nice, thoughtful blog i've ever visited:) happy to be following you. Agree 100% with what you say- choices are choices because people choose one over the other as per their own wish:)

  6. It is a skill I am working on - to raise my own garden and refrain from others'. Loved the way you said it.