Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Blame game

When I was a young chit, I used to stand by my sister in the kitchen and be talking to her while she cooked the dinner. When something got burnt or when she hurt her fingers, she would invariably give a knock on my head. When asked why she did so, she would reply that I was responsible for the over burnt food or her hurt. She would never accept that she was careless when cooking but preferred to blame me however remotely I was connected to the incident. This is a universal trait to look for reasons for one’s failure elsewhere than on oneself entrenched firmly on the belief that ’when in doubt, it must be someone else’s fault’

You must be witnessing often this mindset in our day to day lives. When I do not find my spectacles, I scream ‘who has touched my glasses and meddled with my things’ forgetting no one needs my glasses and that I alone had misplaced them. When our child fares poorly in the school, we blame the teachers that they do not teach properly or when we miss the bus by getting up late we find the blame on our wives for not making the breakfast ready on time. When boss pulls up for shoddy work, we conveniently put the blame on colleagues or other departments. When there is bomb blast in a crowded area or mass killing, our initial reaction is to blame the unknown terrorists or a neighboring country .When prices of food grains rise, erratic monsoons come to our rescue for taking the blame and if the inflation goes spiraling up we have the international oil price as an excuse. It is always someone else or some other country or some other source except us. They act as convenient pegs to hang all our problems. It is not only for failures that we accuse others but even for our moods like anger, unhappiness, dejection and frustration. We blame the stars or our past karma or fate, never conceding that we are what we are by our own actions and thoughts. People blame the vastu if things do not happen as expected. “It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry”

Blaming others create a make believe situation and helps in deceiving ourselves.Whenever things do not go alright,the right course would be to turn the search light on us and find ways to improve our deficiencies. We should be more careful while cooking, get up early so as not to miss the bus, coach the kids if they fare poorly and look for local bad elements if there is violence. When you accept responsibility for the things, you get a different perspective and the power to set right things. So is with the rulers of the country to look for their deficiencies instead of finding scapegoats. “Not taking responsibility may be less demanding, less painful and mean less time spent in the unknown. It’s more comfortable. You can just take it easy and blame problems in your life on someone else. But there is always a price to pay. When you don’t take responsibility for your life you give away your personal power. Plus more…"

Life would be a great fun if we eschew victim mentality and learn to accept responsibility with self esteem for our own life and actions


  1. Well said @KP! Can't agree more.

  2. nice post

    i fully agree wid u!

  3. Very true, we are responsible for all our actions, and it is of no use to keep shifting the blame on others. Every time we evade responsibility, we lose the chance to change our behavior to become better people.

  4. Well written and so apt.
    I think we need to be more accountable for all that we do and say.
    Keep Writing!

  5. Super! Very true, we always like the blame game and fail to understand or shoulder our own responsibility. And the incident of your sister reminds me of my own sibling rivalry, when i used to blame my brother for my bruises;) Hit the nail right on the head, sir. Good post!

  6. very is easiest to shift the responsbility on to someone else...and go scotfree...

  7. ya I remember, ma used to get very angry on us, if she dropped something in the kitchen and we happend to be present there :)
    Yes we do pass on the blame, we feel it seems to be the easiest thing to do

  8. True, we are experts at the blame game. We blame the government, they blame it on the opposition and it goes on. Taking on the responsibility requires courage. Few of us have that. In my 18 years of career I have only come across one boss who publicly said that he was responsible. A great man- he is well loved by all - those above and those below him.