Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Give Up To Be Happy

From one of my mails I thought it was worth sharing

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.

You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your happy, give up attachment, give up criticism, give up to be happy, give up your fears, how to be happy, law of attraction, things you need, to give up----------


  1. What a post sir!..truely loved it !few points are very important to me..specially the first one..I did that my whole life and lived in stress and realised it only in last 5 years that there is nothing right and wrong with personal relationships, we must maintain the relation well rather than being right...and few other points too...

  2. Truly Impressed, so relevant but so difficult to practice, But practice makes man perfect.

  3. Very good points. Thank you for sharing @KP!

  4. Each and every point is so right. Esp. the 6th, I like!

    Good collection. Thank you, Partha Sir.

  5. I just found you blog and have enjoyed this post as well as the others I read. I look forward to your future musings. : )

  6. new to your blog...its enjoyable! cheers!

  7. As usual good ones,depth of knowlege in compiling.Thank you, enjoyable reading.

  8. Loved reading your post.. The right message for me at this time of my life

  9. Great Points Sir... Keep up Sharing

  10. Great Points Sir... Keep up Sharing

  11. Blessings....
    all good suggestions....
    Control & Right are illusions of the mind.

    stay blessed my friend and Namaste

  12. Enjoyed my first visit...very thoughtful post

  13. I found myself nodding to each and every point you made here. Such a good post.

  14. I found myself nodding to each and every point you made here. Such a good post.

  15. Thanks for sahring suchhh aa wonderfull mails..

  16. good one.... interesting...

    happy newyear


  17. Really interesting. Some of these traits, I carry with me but If I give it up, I am no longer me..

  18. Namaste and blessings....
    Have an excellent week.

  19. hi

    very motivating post..I agree with all points esp no. 14 that reflects the philosophy of Gita (Nishkam Karma).. loved it.. sometimes leaving past is not that easy but clinging to it only gives pain and more trauma...

  20. yes change is necessary trying different things is good
    nice post

  21. yes ..its our own life ..we are free to happy ..

  22. Very nice one..thanks for sharing.

  23. Awesome post KP......Loved it....There are many things to be understood to lead a happy life mainly giving up our ego, attachment on people or material objects, let go of past, accepting things as they are and giving up the control mechanism.....WOW is the word.

    Take care, Do visit and i would love to know your comments....

  24. Respected Sir,

    I totally agree with you,

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  25. Thank you for this Sir.

  26. self-check list...
    only if these things were easy to check off :P
    needs lots of understanding and wisdom to go through :)

    Nice post

  27. So true..yes we are so used to cribbing abut things in life and not appreciating good things in life..

  28. What a good compilation! I always get to the root cause of unhappiness but have never compiled them in this manner. I can relate to many of the points here. :)

  29. When I read the entire list, I felt so happy because it feels good to see someone writing on the lines that I believe in and often question myself about. I can relate to all of the points here and wish that more people are inspired by this post and find a way to cultivate the same.

  30. Each more truer than the other.. a good reminder :)

  31. KP this is a very inspiring post. The points discussed by you are relevant and practical. Very nicely written.

  32. Giving up is a challenge! Onlv when we do so, we can win!
    Cool Post!

  33. Needed this reminder! Thank you.

  34. Parthasarathi sir

    Namaste. Sir thank you very much for sharing very useful and valuable information which is helpful to every one.

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    Parthasarathi sir please read my Lamps of India message and give your valuable comments.

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  35. I loved the point on giving up on fears.. truly feel most of them are manifestation of our minds.. loving your blog :)