Sunday, February 15, 2015

Some thoughts on parenting

Not sure if this is actually in the Thirukkural or somebody's interpretation but seems pretty good.

Thirukkural  by Thiruvalluvar ( a  celebrated Tamil  poet/writer) was written more than 5000 yrs ago. It's one of the  ancient science on Human behaviour , which has not   changed in-spite of modern education  & technology !  .

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you've lost them.

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don't let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people's feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don't successfully complete it.

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defied, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don't follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don't trust that you won't blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn't listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions.

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right


  1. every child is unique and what set of rules work for one may not work for another child.

  2. Those rules might not be absolute but they definitely offer food for thought.

  3. I agree with all the points. They are true!

  4. I am truly amazed at our ancestors' sagacity.All the norms are very relevant even today.
    Good post.

  5. I would love to have this read by all parents,especially,MNC types.

  6. Interesting, we are still learning parenting, and there seems to be no solution to this problem. The problem seems to be as old as the Thirrukural or even more.

  7. I agree.. I learn so much from my daughter.

  8. Namaste my friend
    i really enjoyed this
    thanks for sharing.


  9. made me think. I am sure any parent would start thinking back. Thanks for this reminder. :)

  10. and to think that what was written ages ago is still applicable in letter and spirit

  11. Great thoughts by our great Thiruvalluvar! I have read most of his Tamil writings and love them. So much wisdom in them and thanks for sharing some parenting tips in English :)

  12. realities of life are just the same. its only our minds which think it changes with time and trends. such words of wisdom from old scriptures. :) thanks for sharing this. only if i knew how to read tamil i would enjoy the essence of these words even more :)

    1. Even if one knows Tamil,it is tough to understand Tirukkural as it is for me.Translations by Tamil scholars help.

  13. Great thoughts by Thiruvalluvar! So much wisdom in these words. Thanks for sharing these parenting tips in English because I don't know to read Tamil. It's a loss, really.

  14. I just went though this it stuck to my mind.So i read it again.Great,useful and practical.

  15. I so agree with these...
    Thirukkural is awesome!

  16. This is very convicting. I think I will copy it so I can remember it, thank you very much for sharing. It reached my heart.

  17. Wonderful will book mark this

  18. The points good but unfortunately no correlation with Thirukkural.