Is love self centred?

Can there be a love without expectation in all human relationships? Is there an element of quid pro quo governing these? When you confer love on someone, is there something that you expect in return? Is the love of a parent for the children unconditional or with expectation of a reciprocal love from the children? I believe that there is an unstated expectation of a return of love immediately and certainly when they grow old. People may not concede but there is hardly any love without some consideration. Even the love of a husband for his wife is tinged with self interest. His love for her is in expectation of his happiness that her company gives. Even the caress, hug or a kiss is more for the happiness to self than a demonstration of love towards the other. Deny the opportunity of a physical touch, stop giving what he wants and behave in a manner different from his expectations, the love would gradually fade and may possibly move elsewhere. It may be crude to say in most cases that all love is self based and is in direct proportion to the happiness derived.This applies to both sides. I read somewhere that it is like rearing poultry. The feeding of the birds, the care taken to prevent them falling from disease are all motivated by the eggs they are likely give or as chicken for eating at the table. The poor birds may be thinking that the master loves them while he is in actual fact self centred. Can we find men and women who love each other for their own sake even if one of them has nothing but inadequacies like in accomplishments, looks, conversational skills, even though good natured?.How long would such marriages last in the present day times? Some may last more out of sense of duty or societal compulsions than motivated purely by love.
The same is true where the old parents have nothing to give by way of help physically or monetarily. The children in most cases drive them away. How do we explain the phenomenon of burgeoning poor and old age homes? Some keep them out of a sense of duty or fear of what others may think of them but treat them miserably without a tinge of affection. In such cases, there is the absence of love. This is not to deny that there are grateful children who take care of the old parents out of a sense gratitude for all they have done. The burden of this article is to express the view that love for others is mostly self-centred for the happiness derived by self –which could be simple companionship as in friends,physical intimacy as in married couples,material benefits as from spouses, parents and siblings, physical help and support from others .Take away this happiness, the love may not be of same intensity. Even love towards God is in anticipation of grant of wishes through prayers and has a trace of awe and fear than unalloyed love
I would expect readers to post their views freely on this controversial post