Intensity of problem and our perception

The intensity of the problem is more a function of the mind. The problem remains the same and how we perceive it determines its size. Invariably when you think of a problem in the middle of the night, it appears difficult and not easy of resolution but the same problem appears minor in the morning.

I read a story in a book by VIshal Goyal on Tenali Rama.It seems that once a man approached Tenali Rama complaining that he found his home small and noisy and would like to change for a spacious and less noisy one without spending any money. Tenali Rama advised the man to bring his chicken, horse, cows and sheep inside the house and live with them. The man though perplexed complied with the advice. The next day he came rushing to Tenali Rama saying that his place is cramped and very noisy and smelling and that he cannot put up with the animals anymore. Tenali advised him to remove the animals away. On doing this the man found his house spacious and very quiet and could breathe happily. It was the same house in the same place.

The lesson given by the author is “”Every problem has a ‘context’. If you change the ‘context’, the problem may cease to exist.". This is somewhat like a nagging mild head ache receding totally into background when afflicted with a bigger ailment or some pressing issue crying for attention. The nature of the problem depends upon the opinion we attach to it and it is within our power to change our opinion and thereby the nature of the problem from bad to good.

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

A story from Mahabharatham

I read this story in Thiruvonum's weblog. I wish to share with you as this is interesting

There is story in Mahabharatham, after kurukshetra war Pandavas were reluctant to rule. Sri Krishna says to all five brothers to go to different places and find out some thing different and astonishing. Yudhistar observes an elephant with two trunks. Arjuna observes a bird having Vedas written on its feathers but it was eating a dead man. Bheema observes a cow and a just born calf, mother cow was licking its child even though it was bleeding by its licking. Nakula observes five wells in one place only one had full water and others were empty. Sahadeva observes a big / heavy rock which was rolling from a hill and could not stop even though there were many obstacles like other huge rocks, trees…etc. Even though it was rolling fast, it stopped after encountering a small stone sized thumb.

All of them returned and narrated their story. Sri Krishna given explanation, now the Kali has just started these is future things in Kali

1. Yudhistar observance of Elephant with two trunks: The two trunks denote the politicians in Kali, who say something and do completely opposite to it.

2. Arjuna’s Observance of Bird with Vedas written on it: This denotes the Pandits after learning Veda and shashtras are interested only to fill their tummy and pockets

3. Bheema’s Observance of Cow licking Calf: This denotes the parents in Kali who will protect the children and slowly children will loose their mind development.

4. Nakula’s observance of well denotes the rich people will grow richer and poor will be completely empty.

5. Sahadeva’s observance of rock falling. The big rock denotes the difficulties and small denotes the NAMA SANKIRTANAM. Any big difficulties can be stopped by doing a small nama japa.

There is a price for not asking

I read this in a book The Alladin factor by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
A number of years back the University of Chicago received a million dollar grant from Mrs. Fields of the Marshall Fields Department Store fame and fortune. When the administration at Northwestern University read the headline in the newspaper, the people of Northwestern were shocked, How could this be?

Mrs. Fields lived in Evanston, Illinois.Northwestern was in Evanston, Illinois. She had been a supporter in the past. Why hadn’t she donated the money to Northwestern? Why had she given the money to the University of Chicago instead?

When the University officials called Mrs. Fields to discover why she had given the money to the University of Chicago rather than to them. She replied, “The people of the University of Chicago asked.”You didn’t.”

The answer is yes……. But you have to ask! This would apply even to asking God

There was a time when I wanted a transfer to Delhi as my iwfe's parents and siblings were residing there.I had sent feelers to the Director but had not mentioned my wish whenever I met him.The transfer did not happen.It was some years later when we were travelling alone,I mentioned that he had not acceded to my only request.He replied "How would I know you were interested to come to Delhi unless you had told me?It could have been easily arranged."

I replied "I had sent feelers to you through your staff officer"He said"Why go about indirectly?Your feelers never reached me.Always remember to ask directly."

There are many things which we are shy of asking friends or well wishers and sometimes we assume that they would know our wishes.It is always a good policy to ask directly and accept gracefully whatever the outcome.Children do ask the parents This applies equally well to our prayers to God.It is a good policy to be specific in our request than leaving it to God..That is why we have a sankalp in our Hindu prayers specifically mentioning the wish.Even Christian religion enjoins on devotees to ask with the maxim"“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

A friend is a gift you give yourself

One day, Turgenev, the Russian writer, met a beggar who asked him for alms. " I felt in all my pockets, " he says, " but there was nothing there. The beggar waited, and his outstretched hand twitched and trembled slightly. Embarrassed and confused, I seized his dirty hand and pressed it ‘Do not be angry with me , my brother,’ I said, ‘I have nothing with me’. The beggar raised his bloodshot eyes and smiled, ‘You called me brother.’ he said and that was indeed a gift.’ " -The best of bits and pieces.

Friendship is nothing more than being comfortable with people. It is good to be stimulating and interesting-people would want to be with you and get something from you and your friendship. It is always a good policy to attempt to heal every misunderstanding and try to drain off the grievances,By practicing to liking people until you start liking them genuinely, you retain more friends.This is difficult as some are not lovable But they too have some likeable qualities. Be interested in them, find out their interests,talk about them,remember their names and use them frequently. It is also good to praise by looking for something to praise and avoid criticicsm. Practice believing in people and show them you believe them.

Some may occasionally fail you but it doesn’t matter. In greater number of cases, your trust will kindle a corresponding trust in you. People generally live up to the opinion of others. Practice helping others without any expectations in return. There are many little ways to sustain friendships like being polite in conversations, punctual in appointments and a little consideration in everything. A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. So with men, you can win them with words of honey.

How much to trust?

When a father asks his child who is standing on a book shelf to jump in his arms, it does unhesitatingly. It has a complete trust in his dad and a belief that he will come to no harm .That kind of trust is never possible in this cynical world where we believe that we are vulnerable when we trust someone. But without some trust can the world move on? Do we not walk on the road peacefully trusting that other vehicle users of road follow the rules ? Do we not send young children out to play believing no one will take them away? Can there be love and joy without some basic trust in human goodness?

When we go to a doctor and get some medicines prescribed, we trust his judgment implicitly and take the medicines. Likewise when we buy medicines from chemists, we believe that they are not duplicates or fakes. In our day to day transactions we trust people to a large extent as otherwise life would become unhappy. There may be disappointments on a few occasions no doubt but we should learn to live with it and not distrust everyone. Someone put it ‘You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.”

Trust is based on the belief that others have confidence in you and your ability and will not take unfair advantage of you. It is the ability to create relationships with others based on mutual respect and caring. Good friends never betray your trust.

Uncongenial atmosphere of hate or lack of love, divorced parents, emotional and physical abuse, broken relationship, death of close relative, chronic illness and low self esteem could all lead to lack of trust and suspicion.Getting over this is not easy without constant practice and motivation from others. I would put a strong faith in God as the first step. This belief that He would take care of your troubles would gradually reduce the mistrust and enable you to ‘let go’ the hurts and disappointments. Mingling and living with positive minded people would provide the healing environment.

Overcoming unwanted fears, developing self esteem in one’s capabilities and building trusting relationships after due care would be the way to go about to get over this malaise.

Eternal hope

Life without hope would be a painful nightmare. We all live on hopes and dreams that the future would bring for us the things that we cherish most .Every child has bundle of hopes on parents, God and Santa Claus. They believe in what they are told and build hopes. Every young student in schools/colleges is an aspirant for big degrees and good positions. They work for these with lot of hopes. Married people hope for children, businessman for profits, the old and infirm for good health.

Hope is eternal in the hearts of men.Without hope any life would be meaningless. Hope is the greatest motivator to endeavour towards success. Hope brings about a faith in the creator and God’s hand in all things. It gives a healing touch to the troubled minds and hearts.

It therefore behoves on all of us not to crush the legitimate hopes of people around us by insensitive comments and instead help them in whatever manner we can to realize their hopes. It is in the nature of things if one hope does not materialize another one takes over its place. Nothing in this world is hopeless.

Begin at the periphery

I read this story narrated by Sudhamahi Regunathan and wish to share for the great message it has.

The story is about Chanakya."Touring the countryside in disguise, he halted in a small village.An old woman offered him a meal.Chanakya was ravenous and so accepted the invitation.He was served steaming hot rice.Chanakya delved into the centre of the rice in his plate, which resulted in his burning his fingers..

"Oh dear!" exclaimed the old woman."You are indeed like our stupid minister Chanakya". Chanakya was taken aback.The old lady explained: "Never begin at the centre of the problem.Chanakya plans his attacks on the capital city and loses.He should begin at the periphery and slowly make towards the centre."

Chanakya had learnt a new technique for success.The beginning is always small and at the periphery.But it will unfailingly and eventually lead to the centre,one day